“I Am the Master of My Fate, I Am the Captain of My Soul”

Rabbi Gary S. Creditor
June 15, 2001

Despite having a reference book with the poem, I had never heard of William Ernest Henley and his poem, subtitled "Invictus" until this week. In the most ironic of twists, Timothy McVeigh requested it as a last poem. Like many who were caught unawares, with the help of my secretary Joni, we went searching: Who was this author? What was this poem? Why would McVeigh cite this poem? What was this mass murder's last message? I believe that he truly didn't understand this poem. Further, if he did, it would have been an anathema to him. On the other hand, this poem has a deep and positive message. In truth, it is the refutation of what he did and what he stood for. Standing on good Torah teaching I will repeat the conclusion of my sermon of two weeks ago, even at the risk of it sounding harsh to our more liberal ears: the blood soaked earth of Oklahoma City has been redeemed by his death.

To focus on this poem, its author William Ernest Henley was an Englishman who lived from 1849 to 1903. He was an English poet, critic and editor. As an editor of several reviews he introduced to the public a galaxy of young writers including Rudyard Kipling and William Butler Yeats. He lived during the Victorian Era, and some of this might sound familiar from our freshman literature course in college. Henley wrote various poems collected in volumes of verse. He also collaborated on four plays with Robert Louis Stevenson with whom he enjoyed a long friendship.

More to the point, at the age of 12 he was diagnosed with tubercular arthritis and by the time of sixteen, in 1865, his left leg was amputated just below the knee. In 1872 he grew quite ill and relocated to the Marget Royal and Sea Bathing Infirmary. As a result of that experience, while living in Edinburgh, he wrote a collection of poetry entitled In Hospital. He was hospitalized further, and discharged in 1875. It was at that time he wrote the poem under question, which was originally untitled. Someone else added the title Invictus later when it was included in the Oxford Book of English Verse.

When it was originally written all it had at the beginning was I.M.R.T. Hamilton Bruce. I felt that the clue to truly understanding this poem would be found in deciphering that heading and discovering the identity of Hamilton Bruce. I give full credit to Joni Ervine my secretary for discovering that I.M.R.T. stands for "In Memory of the Right Honorable." The person, Hamilton Bruce was the doctor who helped save his other foot from being amputated. Henley dedicated this poem in tribute to his doctor! It is about healing and saving, not killing and dying! This historical detail was clearly not known by McVeigh and its meaning was lost upon him. I shall draw it out to its practical conclusion.

First let us listen to the poem:

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Clearly, Henley is referring to his recurring illness which has hospitalized him for a long time since youth, and has how returned. We have to imagine medicine practiced in the mid 1850's. His references to "night," "Black as the Pit," "wrath and tears," makes good sense. Henley is not a religious person. He never subscribed to any organized religious belief at any point in his life. He does not make a theology out of his disease. He does not attribute it to sin, as would be quite acceptable in his time and place. He sounds quite contemporary when he says "the fell clutch of circumstance" and "bludgeonings of chance." He is saying disease and illness happens without a necessary cause and effect between sin and sickness. Certainly our modern science continues to reveal to us that the causes of certain illness are found in genetics and environment, lack of proper nutrition or the effects of smoking, drinking and drugs. Some behavior has its consequences biologically, divorced from morality. Other things just happen, without explanation, without ascribing them to sin or a vengeful God. Henley, I believe, reflects that understanding in this poem. It echoes in the writings of Rabbi Harold Kushner.

Like the current emphasis on healing, Henley stresses that he has courage to fight this disease, valour to confront the challenge, daring to struggle with his affliction from within himself. The poem stresses that Henley calls upon his internal strength to continue the battle. Every stanza rings true: "for my unconquerable soul;" "my head is bloody, but unbowed;" "shall find me unafraid;" "I am the captain of my soul." How true does these words ring in our ears! Who of us has not been confronted with our own illness or of our loved ones and not did not seek to summon up hidden resources to gird us through the most difficult times! How many people have I not visited in the hospital who did not make some statement, poetic or prose, that they would fight on resolutely buoyed by their own inner conviction! The Psalmist of our Bible is amply echoed in this poem. We would but switch his words "whatever gods" to "Adonay Elohaynu" – "the Lord our God" in giving thanks for our indomitable neshamas.

McVeigh never understood this poem. The great irony in McVeigh's citing it is that Henley dedicated this poem to a doctor, whose mission in life was to save lives. R.T. Hamilton Bruce, the doctor, to whom this poem is dedicated, who otherwise would be lost to history, represents all that is good, all that is human, and all that is salvational! This was the antithesis of McVeigh, his life that was malevolent and wicked, and his murderous scheme. I truly believe the words of one of the witnesses to his death, that they saw real evil. He was not the master of his fate. Fortunately the police and FBI, despite their gaffe, caught him, and our system of justice condemned him. His fate was execution by lethal injection. Over that he had no control. He was not the master of his fate.

And I don't believe that in the end, he was captain of his soul. In our faith the soul of the truly wicked does not live on. That is the blessing of immortality for the truly righteous and for the rest of us who are human, err, and try again. But the truly evil, the Hamans, the Hitlers, the McVeighs, their souls are condemned to oblivion and exist no more in any realm. I believe that in his end, McVeigh was not the captain of his soul either. That was left to our righteous God.

Evil will never be truly vanquished until the coming of the Messiah or its era. Cures for illness and disease will be discovered little by little by diligent scientists. We will turn to doctors and nurses to see us clear through to the end, whatever it may be. And we will pray to God for the miraculous, and for the knowledge and for the skills of the caregivers. And we will summon up our inner resources of courage, bravery and heroism. In that, may we be, like the later subtitle of the poem, Invictus, unconquerable.

Amen.