Thursday, March 25, 2010

The Custom of Dipping Challah into Honey on Rosh HaShanah

The Custom of Dipping Challah into Honey on Rosh HaShanah

Erev Second Day Rosh HaShanah 5770

September 19th, 2009

Rabbi Gary S. Creditor

 

There are many rituals that we do that are customs, minhagim, and not law, halacha. Some minhagim become so set and accepted that people consider them as halacha, even if they are not. Some minhagim are very transitory. They are in vogue for some time and then fade away, only to be remembered and recorded in books. Some minhagim are relative to geography, only in vogue with a certain group of Jews and not with others. One minhag of Rosh HaShanah is to dip an apple in honey. While not going into the issue of the apple, the use of honey is simply understood in its symbolism of sweetness. We hope that this coming year will be a sweet one for us, for Israel and for the world.

 

The usual custom is that after we recite HaMotzi, after the beracha, we dip the challah into or sprinkle salt on it. The usual explanation is that the table replaces the mizbeach, the altar; the bread replaces the korban, the sacrifice, and as each sacrifice had to be sprinkled with salt, so, too, is the bread sprinkled with salt. Except that on the evening of Rosh HaShanah, the custom is to dip the challah into the honey, which is already on the table because of the apple, instead of using the salt. Why?

 

The answer seems to be similar to the use of the honey for the apple. We make a symbolic statement for sweetness in our lives. But there are two additional explanations for this minhag.

 

The Hebrew word for money is "Devash." In gematria, the numerical value of "Devash" is 306 (4+ 2+300=306). This is the same numerical of the words "Av HaRachamim" which means Merciful Father (1+2+5+200+8+40+10+40).  Thus, the use of honey and not salt on the challah reinforces the request and our faith that God will turn towards His middah, of rachamim, of mercy, and bestow upon us sweetness, instead of the saltiness life, our daily toil.

 

Interestingly, tradition also calls our attention to the fact that most honey is produced as a result of the bees collecting sweet nectar from many flowers, bringing it to the hive and there its transformation into honey. So, too, the honey we eat on Rosh HaShanah symbolizes our prayer that God not judge us as individuals but as part of the entirety of the nation of Israel, Klal Yisrael. We do not stand alone before God, but together with our families and other Jews and even the Jews of every preceding generation, back to our patriarchs and matriarchs. We stand with their zechut, their merit, as we ask God for a sweet year.

 

This interpretation of the minhag seems to imply that sweetness is a quality of life that is imposed upon, that is bestowed to us from the outside. I would like to share a very short story, a vignette, that was shared with me that illustrates that sweetness could, and maybe should, come from the inside. Again, I thank those who share these stories with me so that I can share them with you. This story is entitled: "Attitude."

 

The 92 year old, petite, well-poised and proud lady, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with her hair fashionably coifed and makeup perfectly applied, even though she is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. Her husband of seventy years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready. As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window.

 

"I love it," she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.

 

"Mrs. Jones, you haven't seen the room…just wait."

 

"That doesn't have anything to do with it," she replied. "Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged…it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it…It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away…just for this time in my life. Old age is like a bank account…you withdraw from what you've put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories. Thank you for your part in filling in my Memory Bank. I am still depositing."

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While the author of this sketch uses the word happiness, I see it as evidence of this lady's internal sweetness. It is a middah, a value, a quality, an inner essence that indicates how we will view each day, how we will speak to others, how we will envision our future, how we will deal with the bumps in the road. Part of the salutations of this season is to wish each one a Shanah Tovah u'm'tukah, a good and sweet year. Perhaps the sweetness has to come from within and not from without.

 

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The piece that follows the vignette quoted above, appends the following:

 

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

            1. Free your heart from hatred.

            2. Free your mind from worries.

            3. Live simply.

            4. Give more.

            5. Expect less.

 

No one can go back and make a brand new start.

Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.

 

God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrows, sun without rain.

But He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears and light for the way.

 

Disappointments are like road bumps, they slow you down a bit

but you enjoy the smooth road afterwards. Don't stay on the bumps too long. Move on!

 

When you feel down because you didn't get what you want,

just sit tight and be happy because God has thought of something better to give you.

 

When something happens to you, good or bad, consider what it means.

There's a purpose to life's events, to teach you how to laugh more or not to cry too hard.

 

You can't make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved.

The rest is up to the person to realize your worth.

 

It's better to lose your pride to the one you love,

Than to lose the one you love because of pride.

 

We spend too much time looking for the right person to love,

or finding fault with those we already love,

when instead we should be perfecting the love we give.

 

Never abandon an old friend. You will never find one who can take his place.

Friendship is like wine, it gets better as it grows older.

 

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L'shanah tovah u'metukah tekatayvu - May we be written for a good and sweet new year.

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