Life and Death is in the Power of the Tongue

Life and Death is in the Power of the Tongue
Don Imus' Demise Affects Us All
Rabbi Gary S. Creditor
April 13, 2007

In Leviticus 25:14 we read:

"When you sell property to your neighbor, or buy any from your neighbor, you shall not wrong one another."

That concept, the negative commandment, not to wrong another person, is a core Jewish concept. It is a cornerstone of a moral human being. The Rabbis extrapolate from this verse, connecting it to buying and selling property, to all manner of interpersonal relationships. Regardless if we are in the market place, on the playground, in the office, on the road, in the classroom, the Sanctuary, the Social Hall, or on the airwaves – it is obvious where I am going with all this – we are commanded not to wrong another person. There are many ways how we wrong someone. In the Midrash of Leviticus Rabbah (33.1) the Rabbis expand it to include speech.

"Rabban Shimeon ben Gamaliel said to Tabbai, his servant: 'Go and buy me good food in the market.' He went and bought him a tongue. He said to him: 'Go and buy me bad food in the market.' He went and bought him a tongue. He said to him: 'What is this? When I told you to get good food you bought me a tongue, land when I told you to get bad food you also brought me tongue!' He replied: 'Good comes from it and bad comes from it. When the tongue is good there is nothing better, and when it is bad there is nothing worse.'"

How sad that Don Imus, along with the other shlock jocks, did not ever hear of this Midrash and take it to heart. A great deal of pain and anguish, embarrassment and humiliation could have been avoided. This episode truly affects everyone in society. The wagging of the tongue affects three: the speaker; the object of the speech; and all who hear it. All of us have heard ad nauseam the replay of Don Imus and his sidekick saying those awful words about the Rutgers University Women's Basketball team players. We have been impinged upon by just even hearing such words. If we weren't deeply and grievously offended, then our moral sensitivity has been corrupted. And even if we were, our own moral and ethical space has been infected by hearing this. This episode is exactly what God and our Rabbis imagined could happen when people don't respect each other, and our mouths stoop to the gutter. I am glad that MSNBC and CBS, owner of WFAN – AM in New York have both finally unplugged Don Imus from his microphone. I truly hope that satellite radio, to which I don't listen, won't give it back to him.

While there has been a waterfall of words shed over this matter, I focus tonight on certain elements that I believe need to be highlighted and from which we can take away valuable lessons.

1. I begin my first lesson by asking a rhetorical question: Why should we care what we say to each other? Why not just 'let it all hang out'? Who cares if we insult each other? If you can't take it, tough!

To which I answer: Judaism teaches us that when you insult a person, when you hurt someone, physically, mentally or spiritually, you are offending God Himself. Our faith statement is that it takes three to create a baby: mother, father, and God. Each creature has a metaphysical divine element that, though it is not detectable by any scientific device, is present in each of us. In reading the creation story in Genesis through the prism of our faith, we understand the words"He (God) blew into his (man's) nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being" to mean that God imparted into each of us regardless of age, gender, color, language, faith, ethnicity, something from Him. Each of us isholy! Don Imus, and all like him, didn't get it. He wasn't just besmirching these talented women. He was insulting God Himself, maker of us all.

Remember the refrain: 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never harm me?' They're wrong.

How do we speak to each other and about each other?

How do we model language before our children?

Even in disagreement, do husbands and wives speak with respect and dignity?

Do we correct our children, even forcefully, when they use filthy words?

Have we eliminated from our vocabulary derogatory words about other groups?

Do we live by this understanding of human holiness in every compartment of our lives?

Making a better world does not end with the dismissal of Don Imus. It happens by us.

2. I have a very tangential relationship to Rutgers University. If it had a Jewish Studies department in 1966, I would have gone there. It was my safe school in applying to college. It didn't, so I didn't. Even if you hadn't heard of that university, even if you don't follow women's sports, which I don't, as I don't follow college sports – except VCU basketball, for obvious reasons, this episode has presented us with models of dignity and courage. In a time when grossly overpaid professional sports players are models of the worst, even criminal behavior, the members of this team have been eloquent ambassadors of people with moral stature, ethical preeminence, and personal grace. I have searched the web for a transcript of their words before the media to no avail because I wanted to quote them in this sermon. As I listened to them, as I heard them, I heard linguistic beauty, righteous indignation, and honorable eloquence. They gave testimony to what God in the Torah and the Rabbis in the Midrash were referring: that words can cause pain and cut to the quick. Once spoken, they cannot be retracted. Memory cannot be expunged once it has heard such wounding language. It is forever part of our history. These young women rose above the turbulence and exemplified the use of good language and holy souls. To our sons and our daughters, grandsons and granddaughters, we need point them to view the dignity of the members of this team. They have brought redeeming grace to us all. May their conduct inspire us.

3. How do we "make it all better?" Jewishly put, how do we do teshuvah?

Is "saying 'I'm sorry'" always good enough?

Can words always repair the harm that words or deeds have done?

Do not our words and deeds have tangible consequences?

This is a great example that "Saying I'm sorry" doesn't 'cut the mustard.'

There is nothing that Don Imus could have possibly said to repair the damage of his words. He could have sworn on the proverbial stack of Bibles, and it would not have made a difference. This is a crucial lesson for us, and for our children.

Words spoken after the fact cannot repair the damage done by our words.

In the Torah we see that a person who has sinned, and this qualifies as a big sin, has to bring a sin offering. They have to do something; they have to give up something in order to atone for their sin. Words are part of process, but they are insufficient. For Don Imus, he needed to sacrifice this job. He needed to give up his microphone. He couldn't just sweep it away in a torrent of more words and thus 'make it all better.'  Depending on the offense, depending on the context, words are necessary and maybe even sufficient. Not here. Not now.

How do we 'make it better'?

Do we exemplify the motto that "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure?"

Do we teach our children that there are consequences to what we say, how we maintain our integrity in school and at work, how we take care of our bodies to be smoke, drug and alcohol free, how, when, where, with whom we have sex, and how we drive our cars?

Do we say to ourselves and to them – words don't always make it better;

Words can't always repair the damage;

Words can't always undo what has been done.

Sometimes the damage is forever.

There is much to learn and inculcate in ourselves from this terrible situation. It is not an issue of being PC – politically correct. It is the issue of being good, moral, ethical, sensitive human beings and creating a good world.

The Midrash in Leviticus ends with the following:

Rabbi made a feast for his disciples and placed before them tender tongues and hard tongues. They began selecting the tender ones, leaving the hard ones alone. Said he to them: Note what you are doing! As you select the tender and leave the hard, so let your tongues be tender to one another!

May we be tender with each other and create a better world.

Shabbat Shalom.