Questions I Would Like to Ask Our Teen-Age Children

March 18, 2005 
Rabbi Gary S. Creditor

This is a very different style of sermon. It is basically a very long list of questions. Two hundred and sixty-seven teenagers selected from 3,370 were interviewed between March and August 2003. Of the 267 respondents, 6.7% percent identified themselves as Jews. 4% did not identify themselves religiously. The program, directed by professors from University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, is entitled: National Survey of Youth and Religion (NSYR). To find out more, "Google" this title, or enroll on our listserv or go to our website where this sermon is posted and listed. I have pasted the website from where I have quoted the following questions. 
http://www.youthandreligion.org/research/docs/PersonalIVmethods.pdf

My curiosity was piqued by the article in the February 24th edition of the Times-Dispatch entitled: 'Religion really does matter' to teenagers. I have worked with teenagers all my life, in synagogue, USY chapters, and regions, encampments and Israel Pilgrimage, and in Camp Ramah. I have stood with hundreds and hundreds of b'nai mitzvah who has spent years in a religious school, and countless more hours learning to chant specifically for their Shabbat. This title fascinated me. Maybe, just maybe, beyond all the how to 'do' this and 'say' that, maybe behind all the quotes about what generations didn't like, there some eternal value in all this. 

I went to the website, which I mentioned before. I most sincerely encourage you to do the same, whether you have children or not, whether you are a parent or a grandparent. In as much these questions were asked of the teenagers, they were really being asked about us. 

The questions were grouped in general categories. The questions were very probing, particularly so in the categories of dating and sexuality. The questions about faith and religion were not only contained to the explicit categories. They were included in other categories as well. Tonight I stress the questions. I would also add that I have not seen any data from the 6.7% Jewish respondents. Perhaps that will be forthcoming or maybe exists and I have not found it yet. 

I believe that these questions and their answers are critical for the survival of Judaism and thus the Jewish people. I reiterate that which I have enunciated countless times before: While there are many components to a Jewish identity - Israel, social justice, fund raising, family, saving other Jews, i.e., from Russia and Ethiopia, that one, singular component that organizes, magnetizes and holds them all together and gives all of them meaning and purpose is our faith. Without the faith there is no Judaism. Without the faith of Judaism, eventually, there will be no Jews. These questions focus on how well we manifest, teach and transmit our faith. Perhaps the answers reflect whether we have any faith of our own. 

I only extract the relevant questions. For the rest, consult the website. 

Family Relationships: 
Can you tell me about how you were raised religiously? 
In what religious tradition were you raised? 
How similar or different are your religious beliefs from your [mother] and [father]? 
Is religion a source of conflict or of sharing [solidarity] with them, or not? 
Do you think there is anything else about religious faith or spiritual outlook that affects the quality of relationships within your family? Do you think your family relationships are affected by religious or faith or spiritual factors at all? 

Adult Involvements: 
Do you have any particularly positive or negative relationships with other adults in your life? 
What about people in your [church] or any other religious group you are part of? 
Who are the people you most admire? Who do you wish to be like? 

Morality: 
Has there ever been a time when you were unsure of what was right and wrong in a particular situation? 
How did you decide what to do? 
Where do your own views of right and wrong come from? 
What do you think it is that makes something right or wrong? 
How do you decide or know what is good and bad, right and wrong in life? 

Religion: 
Do you think of yourself as a religious or spiritual person? 
Do you believe in God? 
When you think about God, what do you think of? Who or what is God to you? 
Do you tend to think of God as personal or impersonal? Active or removed from human life? 
Do you think of God as more loving and forgiving, or demanding and judging, or something else? 
How do you get your ideas about God? 
Do you consider yourself to be any particular religion, or not? 
What are your own religious beliefs? Can you tell me the beliefs of your own personal faith? 
What have been the important influences on you when it comes to religion, faith, belief, or spirituality? 
How involved or active would you say you are in religion and spirituality? 
How important or central do you think your religion or spirituality is in your life? 
What are some ways, if any; you would say your faith influences you? 
What, if anything, do you think is valuable or important in religion? 
Do you think other people who don't practice religious faith should? 
[IF yes] Why does that matter? Does it matter which religious faith? 
Do you ever have doubts about your (non-)religious beliefs? Which? Why? When? 
How different or similar do you feel from other teens your age because of your own (non-) religious faith and practices? 

Religious Experiences: 
Have you personally had any significant "religious experiences?" 
Would you say that you feel close to God or not? In what ways or not? 
Have you ever experiences anything that seemed truly supernatural? 
Different people have different ideas about what they believe about things like angels, demons, 
divine miracles, life after death and so on. What do you think? 
Do you think that there is any kind of punishment after death for bad things people have done 
in life? 

Religious Practices: 
[IF RELIGIOUS] Are there any kinds of religious or spiritual things that you "do," any practices or habits or regular things that are part of your religious faith or beliefs? 
Do you have habits or regular things you do to feel more connected to God? 
Do you have habits or regular things you do to feel more connected to other people of your faith? 
Are there any things you do because you are a Jew that are different from your friends or other people who are non-religious or of a different religion? 
Are there any things you DON'T do because you are Jewish? 

Do you pray? 
Do you read the Bible? 
Do you try to take one day a week to rest, to worship, to take a break from normal routines? 
Do you go to religious services regularly? 

Would you say you spend money or time any differently than other people because of your religious, spiritual or moral beliefs? 
Are there any OTHER things you do on a regular basis that have some religious or spiritual meaning for you? 
How important are your religious practices to you? 
How, if at all, do these religious practices affect your life? 

Dating: 
Thinking about your own life and your friends and peers, do you think that people's religious faith affects their dating in any way? Does religion shape people's dating relationships? 

Sexuality: 
Does your religion have any particular teaching or morality when it comes to sex? 
If so, what is it? 

Future Prospects: 
What do you think you will be like religiously when you are 25 or 30 years old? 

It is possible to ignore this sermon and ignore these questions. I am not the first Rabbi to present the thesis about the core identity of Jew, the source of survival through the millennia, and the power of our presence in history. If we are concerned with our religious and spiritual lives as adults, if we are concerned about the nature of the children we are creating, if we care for the perpetuation of Judaism and Jews, then these questions are central to our own identity and to theirs. 

The answers are all around us. May we not forget the questions. 

Shabbat Shalom.