Hillary Clinton, The Sotah, And Pesach Sheni

Hillary Clinton, The Sotah, And Pesach Sheni

June 20^th, 2003

Rabbi Gary S. Creditor 

The one question I dread hearing is: "Rabbi, have you read...?" The one statement I dread hearing is: "Rabbi, I have a book for you to read." My reading is usually more esoteric. It is focused on my teaching and personal study, and rarely from the Best Seller Lists. I have shelves of books I want to read and will never get to. Therefore you may immediately deduce that I am not going to read Senator Hillary Clinton's new book Living Legacy. But I do want to speak about it, or at least the most famous part of it. Its publication and publicity intersects with the two Torah portions of last Shabbat - Naso, and this Shabbat of Beha'alotcha. The former includes the subject of a Sotah, a woman accused of adultery that cannot be proven. This week's includes the subject of Pesach Sheni, a second chance to observe Passover, for those who legitimately couldn't.  Taken together our tradition offers certain insights and poses to each of us the most personal of questions.

 

Tomorrow's Torah portion begins by mentioning the menorah, two of which flank this bemah and are excellent interpretations of the Biblical design. There is an interesting question: Why are there seven lights? A quick and maybe obvious answer is that it represents the seven days of the week, of creation, and focuses on God. There is another answer. The menorah was made from one beaten piece of metal. The arms were not welded to the center stalk. It was one singular and indivisible unity. It represents the completeness of the Jewish family. Seven is the number of relationships for which we are obligated to mourn, for whom a kohen may become impure. They are: father, mother, son, daughter, brother, sister and spouse. A commentary called Ikvey Parshiot includes the following comment: "The number seven is the number of the whole family which symbolizes the peace between husband and wife, between children and their parents, between brothers and sisters and between one generation to the next. Peace in every direction."

 

Judaism teaches us that the ideal to which we all should strive is a marriage bound by devotion, loyalty and fidelity. In the Talmud, Sanhedrin 7a it says: "When love is strong, a man and woman can make their bed on a sword's blade. When love grows weak, a bed of sixty cubits is not large enough."  Another Talmudic statement, Yevamot 62b: "Of a man who loves his wife as himself, honors her more than himself, guides his sons and daughters in the right path, Scripture says: 'And you shall know that your tent is in peace'."

 

Clear and unambiguous adultery contravenes the seventh commandment and, according to the Torah, is punishable by death of either man, woman or both. The case of the Sotah is that there is suspicion which is unproven that undermines the unity and solidarity of the marriage, causing accusations of infidelity. I really wish that Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky had studied a little Torah with me. While the Torah passage focuses on the husband's accusation of the woman, the Rabbis place equal responsibility on the husband. While the Torah may seem to place the blame solely on the woman, the Rabbis see the equal opportunity for the husband's two-faced behavior to have caused the situation. In the Talmud, Berachot 8a, we read the following: "In the West [Palestine} they used to ask a man who married a wife thus: Matza or Motzay? "Matza', for it is written: Whoso finds - matza - a wife finds a great good. (Proverbs 18) 'Motzay', for it is written: And I find - motzay - more bitter than death the woman (Ecclesiastes 18)". On this the commentary Merotz Hatzvi writes: "Indeed, there is a significant psychological difference between matza and motzay. For matza is in the past tense and indicates that the husband has "found" his mate and no longer seeks another. In this case, he is "one who is happy with his lot" and he has "found good." But motzay is in the present tense and implies that he is perpetually seeking a woman who is perhaps lovelier or wealthier than the one he has. This man is doomed to unhappiness and his life is "more bittern than death." In the world we live in we need to transpose this understanding from man to woman and from woman to man. Yet the underlying truth stands firm.

 

If there wasn't a stained dress and gossip maybe Monica Lewinsky would never have become a household name and Bill Clinton wouldn't have been impeached. The little that I have heard from this book this past week is clear enough evidence of the divisive and corrosive destruction caused by this affair. I cannot fathom Senator Clinton having to write those chapters. It is even more incomprehensible how she could sit on national television to speak about it. Equally I cannot fathom her husband knowing that he is the object of every joke forever and that his wife has to answer for his behavior.

 

Now I bring in the tomorrow's sedra with the concept of a second chance. It refers to those ineligible to participate in the Paschal sacrifice because of impurities and are enabled to do so one month later. In the Tosephta, the Rabbinic companion to the Mishna, there is recorded a command to make use of the 'second chance Pesach.' Does every situation deserve a second chance? Clearly I cannot and would never enunciate a "one-size-fits-all" answer. Hillary Clinton made a choice to give her husband a second chance. Who knows why? I simultaneously yield to and deny the cynics. Our Jewish sources inform us of the following:

On one hand:

            We have an entire Talmudic tractate about divorce and specific rules and procedures for giving a get. Unfortunately I have been involved in much too many gets. There are times that either or both decide that a second chance will be of no avail. Perhaps the bitterness has made too great a wall between them that could ever be surmounted. Maybe they are right. They won't observe a Pesach Sheni.

 

Yet on the other hand: We learn from our sources:

            "All things can be replaced except the wife of one's youth." (Sanhedrin 22a)

            "If a man divorces his first wife even the altar sheds tears, as it is written: "and this you do as well: You cover the altar of the Lord in Jerusalem with tears, weeping and moaning...Because of what? Because the Lord is a witness between you and the wife of your youth with whom you have broken faith, though she is your partner and covenanted spouse" (Malachi 2:13-14)  (Gittin 90b)

            Rabbi Zusya's wife was unhappy in their marriage, and persistently asked for a divorce. One night the rabbi called to her, "Hendel, look here." He showed her that his pillow was wet. "The Talmud tells us that if a man divorces his first wife, the altar itself sheds tears for him. My pillow is wet with those tears. Now, do you still insist that we divorce?" From then on, Rabbi Zusya's wife became happy and contented.

 

And maybe there are times that people can find it in their hearts to live a Pesach Sheni and give each other a second chance. While it might not always be the right thing to do, sometimes it clearly is.

 

I will not read Hillary Clinton's "Living Legacy," but it gives us much to think about, particularly juxtaposed between the suspected adulteress, the Sotah, and Pesach Sheni, a second chance. We, as spouses, children, parents and partners are challenged by this subject, of faith and fidelity, in how we choose to live our lives.

            Will we bring suspicions that weaken and undermine the bonds between us?

                        Or will we strengthen, support and sustain one another?

            Will we bring shame?

                        Or will we bring fame?

            Will the Temple's altar shed tears?

                        Or will we rejoice around it in family celebration?

I hope that we will be like the menorah, solid, firm, loyal, devoted and dedicated. I hope that all those in leadership position, from pulpit and podium understand the image that we set before others to emulate and by which to be inspired.

May we live with our homes at peace.                                              Amen.