“Lamad’ti – I”ve Learned…”

Rabbi Gary S. Creditor
Erev Rosh HaShanah 5763
September 6th, 2002

 

It is obvious but necessary to say: none of us are the same people we were a year ago. Once we have experienced something, whatever that may be, big or small, it is part of our personal chronicle forever. It is inscribed indelibly in our minds and hearts. We are not and cannot be the same people we were before the morning of September 11 th, 2001. On that day many things died. People died. Families died. Dreams died. Innocence died. Insularity died. Thesimplicity of life in America died. When I look up here and see a plane overhead, or when I drive past Newark Airport on the way the New York City and I see the planes taking off and coming in to land right over my head, I have uneasy and apprehensive feelings that I cannot articulate in words but gnaw in the marrow of my bones. Because of modern technology, many saw the second plane hit the World Trade Center. We all saw the catastrophe incessantly replayed on TV. Even now, when the media hypes forthcoming coverage and show a brief clip, my body registers shock and horror. Last Yom Tov Menachem and Liz did not make a public tzimmis that she was pregnant. Some people who saw her started guessing. Menachem wrote, a bit after the fact:

Did they want to bring a baby into this world?

In what kind of world was this baby going to live?

When I spoke at Ariel's naming, I reaffirmed to our son the reason for creating children. I never had such questions when Ruby was pregnant with him. I cry for those having babies that they should even have such thoughts, who have been robbed of the unadulterated joy of this moment. None of us will ever be the same.

I confess - it's a good season for that - that I dawdled in writing my sermons for these days because I knew that I had to compose words from my heart to share with you, and the reflection and introspection would be painful. Like most of you, I have somehow adjusted to our "new" lives, the receding time since last fall has been therapeutic. Like the grieving process of avelut, we went through shiva and sheloshim, and then eleven months of Kaddish. When I said Kaddish for my father it helped me adjust to a new reality. It gave me a new tempo by which to live. In these months since last September, we have found our own new tempo, and perhaps the pain, shock, and terror has diminished as we live quietly in a new national rhythm. Now it is yahrzeit by the Jewish calendar, the last step in the Jewish mourning ritual. We observed it last Shabbat. For us, this national yahrzeit is an important marker in time. It makes us stop and think. It makes us plumb our personal and national consciousness. So let me ask:

What have we learned since last year?

How have we changed since September 11 th, 2001?

The coincidence of this date with Rosh HaShanah helps us shape and frame the right questions as we devote these days to true introspection and reflection. If these days will mean anything, if attendance here will have any purpose, then we all need to ponder the real questions about ourselves and our lives, about our place in the scheme of things. It is my fervent prayer that each one of us will conclude this season with uplifted hearts and focused purpose, being better human beings, more devoted Jews, and more dedicated spouses, siblings, parents or children.

To begin that personal process let me share with you a piece which Ruby's sister Josephine forwarded to us, which was composed for Friendship Week last June. There is no ascribed author. It is entitled "I've learned…" In Hebrew its title translates as: "Lamad'ti…"

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I've learned…

That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I've learned…

That when you're in love it shows.

I've learned…

That just one person saying to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day.

I've learned…

That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

I've learned…

That being kind is more important than being right.

I've learned…

That you should never say "no" to a gift from a child.

I've learned…

That I can always pray for someone else when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.

I've learned…

That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I've learned…

That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I've learned…

That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I've learned…

That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned…

That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've learned…

That money doesn't buy class.

I've learned…

That it's those shall daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I've learned…

That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I've learned…

That the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?

I've learned…

That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I've learned…

That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I've learned…

That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I've learned…

That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I've learned…

That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I've learned…

That there's nothing sweeter than sleeping with your babies and feeling their breath on your cheeks.

I've learned…

That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I've learned…

That life is tough, but I'm tougher.

I've learned…

That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I've learned…

That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I've learned…

That I wish I could have told my Dad that I love him one more time before he passed away.

I've learned…

That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may to eat them.

I've learned…

That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I've learned…

That I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.

I've learned…

That when your newly born child holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.

I've learned…

That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

I've learned…

That it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life-threatening situation.

I've learned…

That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

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Lamad'ti – I have learned.

Our Yom Tov season of Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur properly makes us pause in this most ironic and unique intersection of time and ask "What have we learned…" since we have gone through this crucible and "How have we changed…" because of what we have experienced. I get up earlier in the morning and watch every dawn. I watch the sun set, and thank God for another tranquil day. I don't take life, the day or the night for granted. I cherish each experience and clutch to my heart everyone I love. As much as I think I knew before, I know that I have learned a lot since. May we and our families, may our country and Medinat Yisrael, extending our prayers to everyone and all nations, be blessed in this coming year with peace. A year from now, please God, let us gather together again and say that this past year "Lamad'ti…" "I've learned…" Amen.